bloodborne
logs
08.jul.23been playing bloodborne recently and YEAH its pretty scary (for someone like me) but it is so fun!!!!! i had given this game a try back when it was free for ps+ in 2018 and i did like it but every time i died i felt horrible so i stopped playing it LKFJDLj but since i got ps+ again i decided to give it a try once more. and i think this time it hit me. my boyfriend has also been helping me out giving me tips and tricks throught my journey YAY!
i have much more to write about this game but soon i will be publishing an in-depth blog post about bloodborne and my experience with it so please stay tuned for that!
16.jul.23wrote a blog post about my experience with bloodborne and anxiety. this game has helped me out with coming to come to terms with some things about myself and gave me a new perspective on my own struggles 
if you'd like to read it you can do so here!
in other news, i've been progressing a lot through the game! im about to go to the forbidden woods (i think its the game...) and also i think i might be a bit overleveled so i should be good to go 
20.jul.23today i got to cainhurst castle! (happy but also shivering from fear) you know ive noticed that im always VERY tense when playing this game. its crazy bc i do enjoy it but oh my god. i really cant deny that despite getting the hang of this game it is still Really scary for me 
its like i love it because the atmosphere is so well made but i also hate how it makes me feel so much 
gripping my ps4 controller for life
i liked the view here tho. nice place to take a quick breather. only for me to get scared in the next 10 seconds PLEASEEE
as you can see i really but really take my time getting through these levels (tho theres some rare cases where i just have to say fuck it and run pass them). while exploring this place theres these ladies with swords (honestly good for them i guess) and they are VERY slow but all of a sudden this happened and i went NOPE, me and my 20k echoes are outtie. yall take it easy. i had just unlocked a shortcut too so it seemed quite fitting to stop the journey there
right after this i spent exactly 8 minutes fighting like 10 5ft long worms. horrible i know. i hope i never encounter them again in another level because wow were they such a pain for just being skinny ass WORMS
23.jul.23SO. i beat another boss!! my heart wanted to get out of my chest on this one good lord. i tried my best not to panic and it REALLY paid off. this fight was sooo long for me holy moly. but i did it! i REALLY thought i was going to die and after all, this was just my first try at the boss so you know. but just WOW...
sorry for the bad mic quality i didnt have it out but i forgot to mute it DFJLFD. you can hear my stress and desperation to just finish this damn fight
i unlocked the next area as well, but i think i will keep exploring the forbidden woods, and maybe even that castle i went to a couple of days ago before proceeding to the next area
04.sep.23soooooooooo you might be wondering what has happened to bloodborne after me playing nonstop for the entirety of july welp... i wrote about my woes with my ps4 in a journal log if you'd like to read more about it. but basically, the ps4 controller does not want to connect to it due to a faulty bluetooth / wifi antenna. sigh 
honestly, i barely play on it nowadays so like if this were the end of my ps4 i'd be like damn... but okay. BUT I STILL NEED TO FINISH BLOODBORNE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i bought a replacement for the antenna so i'll update this page to let yall know how that went and if my bloodborne journey (ps4 exclusive btw) ends here 
i miss playing it a bit too! so i hope i can get that fixed
but to catch up where i last left in the game before my ps4 decided to hate me: i explored a bit more of the cainhurst (? idk if that's how it spelled) castle and found a boss with a VERY cool scythe but oh my god... this one is going to be ROUGH. he's not that fast but he is pretty quick in executing his moveset. and i am very used to my hunter axe but i can tell it's gonna be a bit troublesome to defeat him with the slow weapon that i have.... i gave this boss a try 3 times. i think all those times i got him to half health. which isn't bad. but also the fact that we are fighting on a roof makes things even more stressful because in one of my runs i died CUS I FELL from said roof :[
it is safe to say that IF i can get my ps4 fixed again, i will need a GOOD warmup before i try to fight that boss again. UGH but i do miss bloodborne a normal amount </3 so sad
14.sep.23no more bloodborne til further notice
11.dec.23 i don't know why i just thought about this but i think if i a bought a WIRED ps4 controller, i Would Be Able to play bloodborne again..... don't really feel like dropping 20 bucks just for that though. i really like the little messages people place in these games and if i play again i won't have that </3 so yeah i don't have much desire to buy that controller despite me missing the game! i thought about getting my ps4 fixed that first week it went nuts, but at that point i might as well just wait 5 years or something until i can afford a ps5. ahhhh 
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this has been the funniest death i've had since playing this game [16.jul.23]